【原文】
故宫
[1]北京的故宫是个神奇之地,从成千上万套房间到无数精美的工艺品,它成为中国最受欢迎的旅游景点之一不足为奇。[2]就在故宫建成近600年后的今天,它依然在不断地给人们带来惊喜。[3]故宫初建于明代,据估算,至今己经历了200多次地震。[4]大多数建筑都无法抵御天灾,更不必说那些百年老建筑了,然而故宫却似乎能经受住一切考验。
从前年美国总统访华时对她朱墙黄瓦、雕梁画栋的深厚文化底蕴的赞叹,到今年元宵节现代光影的“紫禁城上元之夜”,的确,这座建于明代的闻名于世的古代建筑至今有着强大的生命力。
就题目“故宫”的翻译而言,有参赛者音译成Gu Gong,显然不妥,因故宫有约定俗成的译名。还有不少参赛者译为The Palace Museum,严格说这是“故宫博物院”,与“故宫”是有区别的:“故宫”是明清两代的皇家宫殿,帝王居住和处理政务的地方,而“故宫博物院”是故宫之内、在明清两代皇宫及其收藏的基础上建立起来的综合性博物馆;前者于永乐十八年(1420年)建成,后者于1925年10月10日开馆。顺便而言,还有“台北故宫博物院”和“沈阳故宫博物院”,而这里指的是“北京的故宫”。有的译成The Imperial Palace,似乎不错,但分析起来,还不够确切,因为自末代皇帝溥仪一家在1924年10月4日被冯玉祥的部队赶出宫后,故宫便不再是“皇宫”,而是Former Imperial Palace。比较而言,“紫禁城”是对故宫的旧称,译为The Forbidden City,被外界普遍接受,亦可保留其特有的传统文化色彩。
对于[1],有的参赛者译得过于零碎,即短句过多,而忽视了英文“形合”的特点,如:Beijing’s Forbidden City is a wonderful place. Tens of thousands of sets of houses and countless exquisite craftwork are included there. It is not surprising that the place has become one of the most populous scenic spots in China. 其中,可注意用介词、连词等将句子整合起来。然而,也不是越长越好,如:From its tens of thousands of rooms and halls that served diverse functions to its innumerable collection of exquisite arts and crafts, it is no wonder that Beijing's Palace Museum, also known as the Forbidden City, is a magical place that has become one of the most popular tourist attractions in China. 重要的是能在句子的组织上找到适当的平衡。同时,“从成千上万套房间到无数精美的工艺品”,是一种铺排写法,不必译成“from … to …”,而可接续前面,用介词where, 引出“tens of thousands of rooms were built, countless exquisite crafts stored”。“成为中国最受欢迎的旅游景点之一也不足为奇”,原文是一句,译文则不妨用Unsurprisingly另起一句,以更符合英文表达习惯。
故此句不妨译为:The Forbidden City in Beijing is truly an amazing place, where tens of thousands of rooms were built, countless exquisite crafts stored. Unsurprisingly, it has become one of China’s most popular tourist attractions.
[2]和[3],很容易译成:Today, nearly 600 years after the Palace Museum was built, it still brings surprises to people. The Palace Museum was built in the Ming Dynasty. It is estimated that more than 200 earthquakes have occurred so far. / Even today, more than 600 years after it was built, the Forbidden City still brings constant surprises to us. It is estimated that the Forbidden City, initially built in Ming Dynasty, has suffered over 200 earthquakes so far. / It has been more than 600 years since the Palace Museum was built, but it still continues to surprise people. The Palace Museum, first built in the Ming dynasty, has experienced more than 200 earthquakes by some estimates. / Today, 600 years away from its being built, it still surprises people. Built in the Ming Dynasty, the Palace Museum was estimated to have experienced more than 200 earthquakes.(下划线为笔者所加)其中都难免重复built。
显然,鉴于[3]中的“故宫初建于明代”有重叠的部分(因为建立的时间、地点是相关联的),若单独译出,会使句子冗繁,故不妨合并翻译,如nearly 600 years after it was established in the Ming Dynasty。“给人们带来惊喜”,此处有个潜在问题,即“什么带来的”,在译文中需要补充,如加上features、qualities(特质)等。
承接上述译文,句[3]可从“据估算……”翻译,而“至今”所指时间段不妨在译文中加以明确:its lifetime。“经历”似可用experience、go through、undergo、come through等,但不是suffer、involve、contain等,更确切的为survive,其义为continue to live、endure or last。
因而,此两句不妨译为:Still, nearly 600 years after it was established in the Ming Dynasty (1368—1644), the Forbidden City has constantly surprised people with its features. It is estimated that during its lifetime the Forbidden City has survived more than 200 earthquakes.
[4]中,若按原文词序译成“Most of the buildings cannot resist natural disaster, not to mention those hundred-year-old buildings… / While most buildings in the world are not resistant to such natural disasters, let alone those vulnerable century-old buildings. / Generally speaking, most of the buildings have no immunity to natural disasters, let alone the centuries-old ones.”等似乎还可以(其中个别用词不当除外),但是“都无法抵御天灾”是指地震破坏的严重性,译文中可以强调,调整词序到句首,如“Given the severity of such natural calamities, …”。而“经受住(一切考验)”,参赛者大都用了stand,应当说,对于物体而言,“If something such as a building or a piece of furniture stands somewhere, it is in that position, and is upright”,即多用于locate,即静止存在,如:The house stands alone on top of a small hill. (房子孤零零地坐落在一座小山顶上。)I reached for the lamp, which stood in the middle of the table.(我伸手去够桌子中央的灯。)固然,该词也有a building is standing when it remains after other buildings around it have fallen down or been destroyed之意,如:There are very few buildings left standing.(几乎没有几个建筑物留存下来。)但相对而言,withstand不但具有quality的性质(to be strong enough not to be hurt or damaged by extreme conditions, the use of force, etc.),而且是动态的(to resist or confront with resistance),如:The materials used have to be able to withstand high temperatures.(所使用的材料必须能够耐高温。)特别是对比“大多数建筑……,更不必说那些……,然而……”的语境,此处似更宜用该词。同时,“抵御”和“经受住”应避免使用同一译词。此外,一些形容人的词语,不宜用来形容物体,如“the Forbidden City seems robust / strong / sturdy enough to resist …”等。
故此句不妨译为:Given the severity of such natural calamities, there are very few buildings that could have endured, not to mention those over a hundred years old; the Forbidden City, however, has apparently withstood all these tests.
其实,关于故宫的各种英译文已有不少,但在词语、句式等表达方面,仍有不断推敲和改进的空间。
优胜译文:
@Christine Huang
The Forbidden City
The Forbidden City, located in Beijing, China, is a miraculous place. Boasting of tens of thousands of suites and numerous exquisite artworks, it unsurprisingly ranks as one of the top tourist attractions in China. Built nearly 600 years ago, it has been bringing about surprises. It’s estimated that it has undergone over 200 earthquakes since the Ming Dynasty. While most structures failed to survive the natural disasters, let alone the century-old ones, the Forbidden City seems to be strong enough to withstand the tests of any kind.
@许飘飘
The Imperial Palace
The Imperial Palace in Beijing is a wonder. Boasting tens of thousands of houses and numerous exquisite crafts, it is, not surprisingly, one of the most popular tourist destinations in China. It has constantly surprised people for nearly six hundred years since its construction. The Palace was initially built in Ming dynasty, and has endured more than two hundred earthquakes by some estimates. Most buildings fail to resist this natural disaster, let alone those centuries-old ones. It seems that the Imperial Palace can stand all trials and tribulations, however.
@英儿
The Forbidden City
It is not surprising that the Forbidden City in Beijing has become one of China's most popular tourist attractions, since it is a magical palace museum boasting ten thousand sets of rooms and countless exquisite artefacts. It still fills visitors with wonder today nearly 600 years after it was first built in the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644). It is estimated that it has witnessed more than 200 earthquakes so far. The Forbidden City seems to be able to withstand various tests, while most buildings can't survive natural disasters, not to mention those with a history over hundreds of years.