【原文】
[1]使举国之少年而亦为老大也，则吾中国为过去之国，其澌亡可翘足而待也。[2]故今日之责任，不在他人，而全在我少年。[3]少年智则国智，少年富则国富；少年强则国强，少年独立则国独立；少年自由则国自由，少年进步则国进步；少年胜于欧洲则国胜于欧洲，少年雄于地球则国雄于地球。[4]红日初升，其道大光。……纵有千古，横有八荒。前途似海，来日方长。
——梁启超
作为中国近代史上的著名启蒙思想家、政治家和教育家，梁启超生活在清末民初。面对国家的腐败、黑暗、落后和虚弱，他积极参加了戊戌变法运动；失败之后，流亡日本，创办了《清议报》，“少年中国说”是1900年发表在该报上的一篇著名文章，影响颇大，被公认为梁启超著作中思想意义最积极、情感色彩最激越的篇章。正值“六一”国际儿童节之际，重温、翻译这段100多年前的精彩文字，很有意义。
[1]中，许多参赛者没有将“使”译出来，该词此处为“假如、如果”，即if，如《论语·泰伯》有“如有周公之才之美，使骄且吝，其余不足观也已”（即使才华比得上周公的人，如果骄傲、吝啬，别的方面也不值得看了），可译为：If a man is as gifted as the Duke of Zhou, and yet arrogant and stingy, then his other qualities are not worth mentioning. “举国”是“全国”。“老大”，书面语“年老”，有俗语：少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲。“少年”，有人译成了teenage，但该词在人口学上界定的青少年，一般为15–25岁或14–28岁之间，故不如the young people、youth。
“澌亡”，其中“澌”为“尽”，“澌亡”即“灭绝消亡”，有人译成extinct，但该词本义为：no longer in existence; lost or especially having died out leaving no living representatives; specially, a species of animal or plant that is extinct no longer has any living members, either in the world or in a particular place。如：Unlike in the rest of Canada, the moose has no natural predators on the island, where the native wolf went extinct.（与加拿大其他地方相比，由于本地狼种灭绝，驼鹿在此毫无天敌。）故该词用在此处有些“过”了。相比而言，perish更为适宜，其意为pass from physical life and lose all bodily attributes and functions necessary to sustain life，该词最有名的用法出现在林肯的《葛底斯堡演说》中：that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth（这个民有、民治、民享的政府将与世长存）。故此，句[1]不妨译为：If our nation’s youth also become somewhat senile, our nation as whole will be set back to its previous stage, and will then perish before long.
[2]句，典型的译文如“So those who shoulder social responsibilities are the juveniles rather than anyone else.”“It is the juveniles instead of the others, bear the responsibility of today’s China.”“So it is not others’ responsibilities but juniors’ to save China.”“So the duty of today falls upon none other than the youth.”等。其中，许多人用了juveniles，究其本义：A juvenile is a child or young person who is not yet old enough to be regarded as an adult. 且该词是个法律术语，如juvenile delinquency（青少年犯罪）、 juvenile court（少年法庭）等，一般文章中不可用来代替young people、youth。如：“更有甚者，他们腐蚀青少年。”这句不可译成“What’s more, they corrupted the juveniles.”，而应为 … the young people。故句[2]不妨译为：Hence the duty of transforming our nation today lies in no one else but our youth.
[3]中的 “智”，译得最多的是wise，其次为intelligent、clever、bright、 brilliant、smart等。但分析起来，a wise person is able to use their experience and knowledge in order to make sensible decisions and judgments，即wise一般多用于有一定年龄、经历、资历的人，如：①He was widely respected as a wise and statesman like governor.（他作为一位睿智、具备政治家才干的州长而广受尊崇。）②You’re a wise old man: tell me what to do.（您是位睿智的长者，告诉我该怎么办吧。）③等你长大懂事后，你会理解我的话。（When you are older and wiser, you will see my point. 此处要用wiser，而不是clever。）
而intelligent, 多指good at learning, understanding and thinking in a logical way about things; showing this ability，即有才智、悟性强，更多强调理解力好，如：①The young man did not understand English, but he was intelligent enough to understand my question from the gestures I made.（这个年轻人不懂英文，但他很聪明，根据我的手势便能明白我的问题。）②a highly intelligent child（非常聪明的孩子）③to ask an intelligent question（问一个机智的问题）。
clever: skillful (or showing skill) in adapting means to ends. 多指心灵手巧，学习和理解比一般人快，如：①Her younger sister is cleverer than her.（她妹妹比她聪明。）②他聪明一世，糊涂一时。（He has been clever all his life but stupid this once.）③人们有时聪明反被聪明误。（Clever people may be victims of their own cleverness. 此处的clever不可用wiser，而cleverness亦不可用wisdom。）
bright常用于口语，强调的是showing an ability to think, learn, or respond quickly，多指年轻人、小孩反应快，如：①The boy is bright beyond his years.（这孩子真聪明，不像这么大的。）②我班上有几个非常聪明的学生。（I have some very bright students in my class.）类似的是brilliant，指某些能力特别突出，如：他才华横溢。（He has a brilliant brain.）
至于smart，固然也与知识、智慧有关，但更多是指showing intelligence and mental alertness，即看起来很灵巧、机警、靓丽，有时也用于贬义，指耍小聪明，如：①Smart children talk earlier than the average.（聪明的幼童比一般孩子说话早。）②Do what I say and don’t get smart.（照我说的去做，别耍小聪明。）
同时，“富”的译法，参赛译文中用得最多的是rich和wealthy。二者都指“拥有财物或金钱”，rich用得更广泛，强调“个人财产和金钱的拥有”，如：He is a rich man.（他是个有钱人。）也指某些物质方面的丰富，如：①中国自然资源丰富。（China is rich in natural resources.）②rich voice（饱满洪亮的声音）③an experience rich with meaning（富有意义的经验）。前面加上定冠词the则指人，如：有时候，富人的烦恼比穷人多。（The rich sometimes have more trouble than the poor.）而wealthy则同时暗指在社会上有殷实的地位，如：He is one of our most wealthy residents in the city.（他家是城里家境相当不错的一户。）而wealthy和rich会同时用，如：He is not merely wealthy—he is rich. 可译为：他其实不只是富裕，他很有钱！
对于“自由”，用得最多的是free、freedom、liberty等，应当说，freedom 用得更为广泛，指某种行为完全不受限制、阻碍、影响，如：①freedom of speech（言论自由）②freedom of press（出版自由）③She is now nineteen, and has the freedom to do as she pleases.（她已19岁了，有自由做自己喜欢做的事。）liberty多用于正式语体中，具有选择性，如：①Employees have the liberty to use all the museum facilities.（雇员有使用博物馆设施的自由。）②他现在自由了。（He is now at liberty.）
其实，还可用unrestricted，其义释为“If an activity is unrestricted, you are free to do it in the way that you want, without being limited by any rules.”，是一种涵义更深的freedom，如：①The authorities have failed so far to enact a law allowing unrestricted emigration.（到目前为止，当局未能通过允许自由移民的法律。）②课外活动，完全自由。（Extracurricular activities are totally unrestricted.）有的用了看似相同的unstrained，其实不妥，因该词强调的是一种自然、轻松状态，如：His playing is facile and unstrained.（他的表演轻巧，无拘无束。）
在句式表达上，一般译文都比较严格地遵循了原文，如：If the youth is wise, and our country will be wise. If the youth is rich, and our country will be rich. If the youth is strong, and our country will be strong. If the youth is independent, and our country will be independent. If the youth has freedom, and our country will have freedom. If the youth makes the progress, and our country will make progress. If the youth is superior to Europe, and our country will be superior to Europe. If the youth dominate the world, and our country will dominate the world. 应当说，中文的这种排比句很有气势，颇具感染力，但照搬到英文里效果未必相同，而且还可能读来冗赘重叠。
类似的，在第七届“《英语世界》杯”翻译大赛的汉译英原文中，有句“知识可以占有，智慧只能发挥；知识向外求得，智慧于内感悟；知识越获越丰富，智慧越凝越升华”，一般译文都采取了类似的句式，如“Knowledge may be possessed, while wisdom must be fulfilled spontaneously. Knowledge may come from acquisition, while wisdom must be derived from introspection. Knowledge can be accumulated, while wisdom must be refined.”等，当然不能算错，但根据英文形合的特点，不妨将其整合为一句：Knowledge can only be possessed and accumulated externally, while wisdom is brought into play and sublimed internally. 从而求得“整体相等”，同时精简掉其中重复部分。同样，鲁迅的名言“沉默啊！沉默！不在沉默中爆发，就在沉默中灭亡。”，其中有四个“沉默”，在中文里有层层递进的呐喊效果，但若原封不动搬到英文，则显累赘，于是杨宪益、戴乃迭将其译为“Silence! Silence! Unless we burst out, we shall perish in this silence.”，既保留原文的强烈感情，又平实、顺畅。故此，句[3]不妨加以相应变通：When the youth become intelligent, the whole nation is; as the youth get wealthy, so does the whole nation. In the same way, when our young people grow to be strong, independent, progressive and unrestricted, so will the whole nation, which will surpass Europe and even stand out in the world with its dynamic youngsters.
[4]中，对于“红日初升，其道大光”，一般都译成了The red sun is just rising、The sun has just risen、The red sun rises brightly等，颇显突兀。其实应该结合其广义和狭义的语境来理解：梁启超将当时封建统治下的中国视为衰落无望的“老大帝国”，而热切希望出现一个富、强、独立、自由、进步的“少年中国”，只有那样，中国才会有前途，因此，译文应加以衔接和变通，如可采用If that happens, … would be like… 的句式。对于“纵有”“横有”，有译文用了Longitudinally, …; Horizontally, …，固然清晰，但也多少有些机械，不妨将其融合在整句之中：If that happens, our nation would be like a rising sun or a broad road full of sunlight. … Sustained by thousands of years of history and a wondrous vast land, China’s future is as immense as oceans with ample time ahead.
梁启超写此文时只有27岁，可谓当时的“90后”，并把它视为自己“开文章之新体，激民气之暗潮”的代表作。要将其原汁原味地译成英文，则需在词语与句式上颇费斟酌。
优胜译文：
@"Claudia
If all Chinese youth become a decadent generation, then China would be doomed to be left behind, whose demise could be imminent. Therefore, the responsibility of our times should be shouldered by youth rather than anyone else. A country could be smart and rich once the youth are smart and rich. A country could be strong and independent once the youth are strong and independent. A country’s freedom could be achieved once the youth have free will. A country could press ahead once the youth are making progress. Also, a country could outperform Europe and stand firm and proud among the nations in the world once the youth are capable to outshine others. A rising sun illuminates the bright path ahead. ... China enjoys a long history and a vast territory whose huge potential will be further unleashed in the near future.
——Liang Qichao
@Nicholas
Should the nation’s youth be rendered decrepit, then our China would regress to its miserable past, so much so that its demise could be expected soon. Today’s responsibilities, therefore, rest on the shoulders of no one but the youth. If our youth are intelligent, then our country is intelligent; our youth wealthy, then our country wealthy; our youth strong, then our country strong; our youth independent, then our country independent; our youth liberal, then our country liberal; our youth progressive, then our country progressive; our youth outperform the European counterparts, then our country outperforms the European counterparts; our youth tower over the global rivals, then our country towers over the global rivals. A brilliant red sun is rising up, casting its glorious rays on the road. … With an enduring history in vertical dimension of time and an expansive territory in horizontal dimension of space, China has a bright future, as vast as the ocean, stretching endlessly ahead.
—By Liang Qichao
@squarrel2009
If Chinese young people become prematurely senile, China will remain as backward as it likes in the old days and its downfall can be expected soon. Therefore, today's responsibility of revitalizing the Chinese nation falls on no others but Chinese young people. If Chinese young people are wise and intelligent, the nation is full of talents; if Chinese young people are affluent, the nation is wealthy; if Chinese young people are vigorous, the nation is prosperous; if Chinese young people are independent, the nation emerges as a sovereign power; if Chinese young people are self-determining, the nation is self-reliant; if Chinese young people make progress, the nation will take bigger steps forward; if Chinese young people outperform their counterparts in the European countries, the nation will end up surpassing those countries; if Chinese young people come out on top among their world's peers, the nation will take the lead in the world. The red sun is rising over the eastern horizon, shining in all its splendor... China enjoys a long history tracing back thousands of years and vast territory stretching far and wide in all directions. The future of Chinese young people is as boundless as the vast sea and their long life journey is just ahead.
—by Liang Qichao