翻译擂台第55期点评
发布时间:2022年05月05日
发布人:nanyuzi  

【原文】

 

书是我的良友。它给我一把金钥匙,诱导我打开浅短的视界、愚昧的头脑、闭塞的心灵。它从不吝惜对我的帮助。

 

书是我青春期的恋人、中年的知己、暮年的伴侣。有了它,我就不再愁寂寞,不再怕人情冷暖、世态炎凉。它使我成为精神世界的富翁。我真的是“不可一日无此君”。当我忙完了、累极了,当我愤怒时、苦恼时,我就想亲近它,因为这是一种绝妙的安抚。

 

作家把自己写的书,送给亲友,献与读者,是最大的愉快。如果他的书引起共鸣、得到赞美,那就是对他最好的酬谢。

 

书本是太阳、空气、雨露。我不能设想,没有书的世界是什么样的世界。

 

(摘自柯灵《书的抒情》)

 

此番擂台节选片段源自柯灵散文名篇《书的抒情》。此文经常被用作专八、CATTI笔译等考试备考的篇章翻译练习。国内译界已故散文英译大师张培基老先生曾译过此篇。笔者不才,十余年前曾试译之,借此擂台点评之机,分享点滴翻译心得。

 

要想译好作品,须先了解源语文本作者及其文风。柯灵(1909-2000),浙江绍兴籍人士,著名的散文家、文论家、电影评论家和剧作家,曾任《文汇报》副刊“世纪风”“读者的话”主编。在诸多身份中,散文家尤为醒目。其散文特征讲究语言古朴,文白交融,骈散结合,优美洗练,至情至理,意境深远,古词今用,用之须活,雕琢无痕,时刻用“灵动皎洁,清光照人”1来严格要求自己的散文作品。文品即人品,文格即人格,柯老求真求美求实的文风,得益于其自身修德修性修身的品格。

 

关于题目“抒情”的英译,张培基先生用eulogizing,拙译用ode,参赛作品除了选用此二词外,还使用了lyric(s)、lyricism、feelings、love、song、eulogy、praises、expressing emotion等表述。这些词是否忠实达意?严格意义上讲,散文是一类非诗非歌的文学体裁。从这个角度看,或许lyric(s)、lyricism、song以及ode、hymn、psalm等类似的词,因其属于诗或歌的专门用语,用作散文的标题则显得不合适。而feelings和expressing emotion则语义不到位,love则语义不对等(抒情不等于爱情)。

 

值得注意的是,eulogy除了赞扬之意外,多数情况下指赞颂死者的悼词悼文,正如《牛津在线英语大辞典》(Oxford English Dictionary,下文简称OED)所提供的定义显示,“a speech or writing in commendation of the character and services of a person, or the qualities of a thing; esp. a set oration in honour of a deceased person”。

 

至于ode一词,考据后会发现,ode一词有早期和后期用法。ode一词源于希腊语,意为sing或chant:“In early use (esp. with reference to ancient literature): a poem intended to be sung or one written in a form originally used for sung performance”(OED),可见,ode早期的用法主要指一种诗体,用于传唱。然而,随着时间流变,ode一词后来语义扩大,即“Later: a lyric poem, typically one in the form of an address to a particular subject, written in varied or irregular metre”(OED)。该定义强调对某一对象(可包括人、物、概念、经验、地方等)的直接歌颂,可作为第三方转述时使用,更多时候则直接作为标题,即Ode to/of/on somebody or something。lyric和lyricism虽也有抒情歌颂之意,然而多数是从第三方叙述和评价的角度出发来表述,即this poem is a lyric about something,很少用于文学作品标题中直接歌颂某一对象,这或许是lyric和ode的明显区别。

 

源语文本抒情歌颂的对象是书。如何英译这一对象?将“书”英译为book的单数形式还是复数形式?是否使用冠词?若是,使用不定冠词还是定冠词?此次提交上来的参赛作品涉及了所有的表述形式,如a book、books、book、the book和the books。张老译文和拙译皆用books。学过英语语法的朋友,皆知表示一类事物的表述方式可以是“the+名词”(可数或不可数),或是复数形式的名词,或是单数形式的名词(限于不可数名词或单复数同形的集合概念词)。因原文作者歌颂的对象“书”是一个泛指的概念,笼统的称谓,故此,相较而言,使用books比较合适,也避免了所谓用“the+名词”特指概念所带来前后指称不明的麻烦。

 

关于单复数的问题,不仅涉及这个全文歌颂对象“书”一词,还涉及文中将“书”进行比拟后的喻体词,比如“恩师”“良友”“恋人”“知己”“伴侣”等等。参赛译文中,若此前将“书”译成book的单数形式,这些喻体的英文表述也相应的使用单数。而译成book的复数形式后,多数参赛译文将这些喻体词的英文一律表述为复数形式,少数用单数形式。张老的译文一律为复数形式。拙译则依据具体对象和情况选用单数或复数形式,比如,除了恋人和伴侣的英文表述使用单数外,其余的选用复数形式。若单独看这些词,单复数皆可,然而若将源语作者柯灵现实中的爱情观和婚姻观考虑进去,我们便知将“恋人”“伴侣”译成英文对应表述的单数形式具有一定的合理性。柯灵一生中只有爱人陈国容一人,两人生活俭朴,历经磨难2夫人虽双腿残疾,却无微不至地照顾柯灵的饮食起居3,柯灵对夫人不离不弃,相濡以沫,相伴到老。可见作家为人正直,对爱情始终如一,对婚姻忠贞不渝。

 

喜用四字词,用词凝练典雅是柯老个性化话语表述的文风之一,反映了其深厚的古文功底。此篇散文也有所体现,比如“人情冷暖”“世态炎凉”。四字词通常语义或重复或并列或递进或补足或对照,音韵或叠声或平仄有致或平仄不一。“人情冷暖”属于语义对照补足,音韵上平平仄仄格式。“世态炎凉”也属于语义对照补足,音韵上仄仄平平。如何英译?拙译分别为“warmness and coldness”“the fickleness of the world”,照顾到语义传达和音韵节奏。参赛作品中,多数只注意语义传达,而未考量原文音韵问题。

 

文白交融、和谐天成算是柯老散文个性化的文风之一。此篇散文“我真的是‘不可一日无此君’”这一句便体现了这一特征。“君”文言中属多义词,意为君王、君子或尊称。单独看,或许皆可说得通,比如,为何不能说作者将书比作让自己内心充实和丰富、统领自己的内心世界的“君王”?或比拟成有道的谦谦君子?然而若结合上下文语境、抒情主题尤其考虑作者自身刚正不阿的品格,可知君王之意稍显不适,君子稍微好些。笔者看来,此处更多是一种对书的尊称,契合全文作者发自内心对书的抒情定调和凸显意象书的儒雅高贵:作者以第一人称“我”尊称书为“君”,将书拟人化作为第二人称来对话,拉近了“你我”的距离。若理解为“君子”则这种距离感会被拉大,且在行文中略显得不够突兀,不够和谐天成,虽突出了高贵形象。故此,拙译“How could I for a single second part with thee?”保留了原文“你我”的叙事方式,使用英语中第二人称you的古英语宾格形式thee来对应,以疑问句和调整句中时间状语位置方式呈现,一方面符合了原文凸显书的儒雅高贵品格,另一方面一定程度上忠实地传达了柯老文白交融、和谐天成的文风。参赛译文中,诸多使用第三人称宾格形式,如him、them、it、they,或直接译为book(s)、或转译为these lads,或译为a mighty rule、this king、this righteous man,极少数使用you,只有一个使用thee。

 

如何英译源语文本最后一句中“想象”一词?张老将之译为imagine。所提交的93份参赛作品中,出现如下英文表述:imagine、conceive、envision、suppose、envisage、figure out等。其中78份使用了imagine(另有一份使用了名词imagination)。这也说明,在参赛者脑海中的词汇选择项里,imagine是最为常用常见的英文对应词。选用该词无可厚非。然而其他诸如conceive、envision、envisage呢?这些词一定程度上属于非常见、非常用词,其陌生化程度稍微高于imagine。使用这些词并非不可,说明译者词汇量较大,然而使用得当与否得要看译者的译文前后用语和文体是否统一,正所谓语域(register)和文体(stylistic formality)二者要统一。此外,还得看源语文本本身作者用语和文体如何,译文的文体应与之匹配。故此,译者不能单独从零散的词语对应角度出发随意选用对应词,而要统筹全局,比较源语文本和译入语文本,协调前后词句,在自己的词汇选择竖轴、词语搭配横轴和文体全局多维立体观中不断协调,纵横联动,以取最优项。

 

拙译最初版本选用的亦是imagine一词。后在修改稿中改为image。据OED所示,image一词既可作名词,亦可作为动词。作为名词,属于常见词用法。作为动词时,其陌生化程度稍高些,有多层含义,总体可以归结为两方面,即具象和抽象层面,既可具象化地描写现实物质世界,亦可以依托想象进行投射似地描绘内心所想世界和外部现实世界。一定程度上,image某些意思等同于imagine,但又比imagine内涵丰富。拙译使用image一词强调源语作者柯灵希望通过读书能让自己在多层感官上来描绘外部世界(“包括内心所投射的世界”),达到内部心灵世界与外部物质世界的对话,这也契合了如前所说柯灵的“文品即人品”散文写作风格。就通感效果和生态美学而言, image一词比imagine好些。当然,image一词的陌生化程度也并非很高,与拙译前后使用的词和总体的语言风格一致,在文体上也符合源语作者散文写作“朴实无华”的文风。基于这些考量,拙译最终选用image一词。

 

只言片语,实践使然,经验所得,学识有限,浅见愚见,仅供参考,不当之处,还望见谅。

 

注释:

 

1. 转引自杨绛,“读《柯灵选集》”,《读书》,1985(1):68-69,第69页;顾盾,“柯灵旧居 墨磨人生”,《文化交流》,2016(5):58-61,第58页。

2. 参见李伟,“人生与艺术的崇高典型──记柯灵”,《紫金岁月》,2000(11-12):65-70,第69页。

3. 参见薛家柱,“忆柯灵先生”,《杭州:生活品质》,2016(11):47-48。

 

参考译文:

 

Books are my friends, beneficial. On me, they’ve bestowed a golden key, with ungrudging helps, to open my shallow sight, my fatuous mind, and my closed heart.

 

Books are my lover in my adolescence, my bosom friends in my middle age and my companion in my declining years. With them, never would I feel sad and lonely; nor would I fear warmness and coldness, and even the fickleness of the world. A rich man of spirit, they have made me! “How could I for a single second part with thee?” When I’m fatigued from work, or when I feel angry and upset, to seek perfect comfort, I would get myself close to them.

 

It is the greatest pleasure for writers to give their kith and kin, and readers the books written by them. If their books strike a chord and get praise, that will be the best reward for them.

 

Books are sunshine, air, rain and dew. I can’t image a world without books.

 

 (From “Ode to Books” by KE Ling)

 

优胜译文:

 

@惊雷

 

Books are my good friends. They give me a golden key and guide me to broaden my horizons, remove ignorance, and open my closed heart. They never begrudge every support given to me.

 

Books are my sweethearts in the youth, my bosom friends in the middle age, and my life partners in the golden years. With them in my life, I am no longer worried about a life of loneliness or the fickleness of the world. Indeed, they have made me a billionaire in the spiritual sense, and I cannot live without them every day. When I am exhausted after a busy day, or when I feel angry or frustrated, I would get myself close to books which are a fascinating source of comfort.

 

A writer acquires the biggest pleasure when he gives his books to his kith and kin as gifts or writes for his readers. And if his books strike a chord with the wider society and win widespread praise and recognition, he receives the most important reward.

 

Books are the sun, air, rain and dew. I cannot imagine a world without books.

 

—An excerpt from Ode to Books by Ke Ling

 

@Yilia

 

Books are my good friends. They offer me a golden key and lead me to broaden my narrow horizon, enrich my benighted brain and open my closed heart. They will never be mean to help me.

 

Books are my lover in adolescence, my confidant in middle age and my companion in old age. With them, never would I worry about loneliness, nor would I be afraid of the fickleness of human nature and the world. They have made me a rich man in the spiritual world. “How could I live a day without you?” When I am exhausted from work, or when I feel angry and upset, I just want to get myself close to them, because they are wonderful consolation to me.

 

It is the greatest pleasure for a writer to send his books to his friends and relatives or to offer them to readers. It will be his best reward if his books can strike a chord and be praised.

 

Books are the sun, the air, the rain and dew. I can't imagine a world without books.

 

From The Lyric of Books by Ke Ling