【原文】
老家的端午节
[1]小时候，端午节随清风吹送，风度翩翩地来了。林家的老屋顿时沸腾起来。每一户人家都会买一些肉，更重要的是，大人们一起包粽子。[2]传统的节日里，粽子却很朴素，料子就简单纯一色一样的糯米。心灵手巧的老家的亲人们，一边有说有笑，一边手里忙个不停，艺术般的手，炉火纯青地包着粽子。[3]宽大的竹叶，经过细心地清洗，折成特别的形状，包着平时难得一见的糯米。棕树的细长的叶子做牢固的“线”，捆绑着弄好的棱角分明的粽叶，恰当到极点。[4]粽子，经过较长时间的水煮，一个个分外迷人。吃在嘴里，香在心头，妙在竹叶包装里的独特的形状。[5]于是，每一年的端午节，吃粽子成为一种渴望，一种等待，一种难得的记忆。
就题目“老家的端午节”而言，其中的“老家”有的参赛者译成the old house，即使用翻译软件，也未必会这样翻译吧？而Dragon Boat Festival 又显然不完整；Reminiscences of My Hometown Dragon Boat Festival、Some Memories about the Dragon Boat Festival in My Hometown则过犹不及。应当说，hometown与native place在多数情况下可以互换，但后者更强调“籍贯”，如：What is your native place?（你是哪儿的人？）因而，标题不妨译为：The Dragon Boat Festival in My Hometown。
[1]中，“小时候”一般译成When I was a child、when I was little、In my childhood等，但纵观全文，看得出写的是作者儿时对端午节的记忆，故可用In my childhood memory。
“端午节随清风吹送，风度翩翩地来了”，是一种拟人的文学笔法，若译成“the Dragon Boat Festival came along with the breeze”未免过于简单，而“… came home with the breeze, elegantly”又有些狭窄，特别是elegantly, 其“雅”常与“俗”相对应，如：While you all do things elegantly, I do things crudely.（好吧，你们都是雅范儿的，我偏要来点儿俗的。）而端午节是大众的“俗节”，用“风度翩翩”是指会给百姓带来恩惠，故不如用grace/gracefully，即不只具有表面的美，而是有更多的含义，如：A born elegance, she even aged gracefully.（她天生丽质，甚至老去也优雅。）
“林家”是指其家族，如“克林顿家族”（the Clintons），故可用the Lins（而不必是the Lin clan）。
“沸腾起来”固然可以用was very excited、suddenly bustling、full of jollification等，但cheer up更为简单、明快，该短语具有“fill with gladness, hope, high spirits, comfort”之意。
“更重要的是”，大都译成more importantly。其实就“对等”而言，可有多种，如more to the point、what is more、what’s more、above all等，而在此处日常随和的语境下，甚至可以不用这些，而在其具体行动中表现出来，即家家户户都把“包粽子”作为一件不可或缺的大事（serious business）来做，如：①Now Americans don’t really think marriage is a business deal. But marriage is serious business in people’s live.（虽然今天美国人并不真正认为婚姻是一宗商业交易，但婚姻确实是件人生大事。）②Since the Covid-19 pandemic, handheld and mobile devices have steadily become serious business for various teaching and seminars.（自新冠病毒流行以来，手持和移动设备已逐渐成为各种教学、研讨会的重要平台。）
故此，该部分不妨译为：In my childhood memory, whenever the Dragon Boat Festival arrived, it came gracefully in the breeze and instantly cheered up the old house of the Lins. At that time, every family bought some meat and the grown-ups would soon engage in their serious zongzi (rice dumpling) packing business.
[2]中，“很朴素”用simple即可，如“朴素生活”（simple life）、“朴素的人”（a simple man）。
“单纯一色一样的”不是the simple and pure of the same color，而是指“单一颜色”，即a single color。
为使“传统的节日”与“粽子的朴素”产生联系，可用“As reflected in the traditional festival, …”。
“老家的亲人们”，许多人译成ingenuity relatives of my old house、the ingenious kinsmen of the hometown等，似乎有些复杂，而the grandpas and grandmas、the relatives of my hometown又过于简单，不如close family members。
至于长句“心灵手巧的老家的亲人们，一边有说有笑，一边手里忙个不停，艺术般的手，炉火纯青地包着粽子”，若按原文词序，很容易译得冗长、中式，如“The family members of ingenuity in my hometown, talking and laughing, are busy packing Zongzi proficiently in ingenious hand.”“Ingenious relatives in the hometown were busy on their hands over talking and laughing with the dexterous hands making zongzi perfectly.”“The family members of the ingenious hometown, talking and laughing at the same time, are busy with their hands, artistic hands, wrapped with zongzi.”其实，遇到这种句式，不妨将原文中的状语或定语提前译出，如：①他认真热情，一字不漏地记下了所说的话。（Conscientious and eager, he took down what was said, careful not to miss a word.）②她，一个瘦弱多病的女子，以坚强的毅力拿到了博士学位。（A thin and weak girl susceptible to diseases, she has obtained her PhD degree with her strong will.）此处可用“While talking and laughing, …”。相应地，对于“艺术般的手，炉火纯青地包着粽子”也要作些词序调整，以融入句中。
因而，该部分不妨译为：As reflected in the traditional festival, zong zi was very simple: wrapped pure glutinous rice of a single color. While talking and laughing, close family members would skillfully use their artistic hands to make zong zi with a high degree of proficiency.
[3]中，“宽大的竹叶，经过细心地清洗，折成特别的形状，包着……”，可用“Wrapped in broad bamboo leaves…”。注意此处的“wrapped in…”是指“用……包着……”，而上文的“wrapped (pure glutinous rice)”是指“包着……东西”。
对于“难得一见的糯米”，一般照字面意思译成 the sticky rice rarely seen in daily life、the glutinous rice that was not common in ordinary days等，然而还可在具体语境中作些变通。
这部分不妨译为：Wrapped in broad bamboo leaves, carefully cleaned and specifically shaped, together with slender threads of the “firming line”, the sharp-edged unusual glutinous rice dumplings in this way formulate perfect zong zi.
[4]中，“经过较长时间的水煮”，若按字面译成after a long time boiling in water，显然冗赘，因boil本义为to cook something by submerging it in boiling liquid for a period of time。
而将“吃在嘴里，香在心头，妙在竹叶包装里的独特的形状”译成“Eating in the mouth, fragrance in the heart, wonderful in the unique shape of bamboo leaf packaging”亦有同样问题。此处不妨“合并同类项”，将对于粽子形状、特色的描述归到一起，而将“吃”和“香”的感觉留在后面。
同时，此处的“香”不是一般意义的fragrant、aroma、incense、appetizing等，而实际是一种“味道”“滋味”“甜美”，故宜用taste、flavor、relish等，作为动词，此处flavor更确切，如：①With discoveries in methods to preserve food, almost every kind of food can be frozen and yet keep its original flavor.（发明食品保存方法之后，几乎每种食品都能冷冻，并且能保持原味。）②All of them are excellent both in color and flavor. No wonder our people like China’s Tea than any other kind.（所有产品都色纯香浓，难怪我们那儿的人都喜欢中国茶。）③女人的一生中，若没有尝过被人默默暗恋的滋味，也算是一种憾事。（In a woman’s life, if she did not taste this flavor of being loved stealthily, she shall feel so regretful.）
因而，该部分不妨译为：After lengthy boiling, every one of them became a uniquely attractive figure and so tasty in the mouth, flavoring the heart.
[5]中的“于是”，一般都译成了Therefore、Thus、Hence、So等，但就作者儿时对于粽子的记忆而言，这里更多指的是“从那以后”便有了一种渴望、等待、记忆。所以，该句不妨译为：Ever since then, eating zong zi during the annual Dragon Boat Festival has been a kind of aspiration, longing and precious memory.
可见，翻译中对于原文的语序，需作灵活处理，即在融会贯通之后，以译入语的表达习惯再现出来。
优胜译文：
@ Daisy
The Dragon Boat Festival in My Old Household
The Dragon Boat Festival in my childhood always came with a refreshing breeze. On that day，the old house of Lin family suddenly became crowded and merry. Every household would buy some pork, and more importantly, grownups would gather together to wrap Zongzi, or sticky rice dumplings. Traditional as the festival was, the sticky rice dumplings were simple with sticky rice being the only ingredient. My relatives in the old house were all smart-minded and clever-handed. Sticky rice dumplings were skillfully wrapped in those artists’ hands over talking and laughing. Broad bamboo leaves were carefully washed and cleaned before being shaped specially to wrap the sticky rice which was rarely seen on ordinary days. The palm tree leaves, slim and long, were used as threads to fasten the neatly shaped sticky rice dumplings, proper to the utmost. Boiled for a long time, those sticky rice dumplings seemed extremely fascinating. A bite of it left fragrance in heart. One couldn’t help wondering how could so simple an ingredient be made into such unique shapes. Therefore, on every Dragon Boat Festival, eating Zongzi becomes an inner desire, a long-time waiting and an unforgettable memory.
@ Xi
The Duanwu Festival In My Hometown
In my childhood memory, the Duanwu Festival always came gracefully with summer breezes, bringing a sudden excitement to the old house of Lin’s. At that time, every household would buy some pork, and more importantly, the grown-ups made zongzi. Even as a festive traditional food, zongzi looks nothing special with the plain colours and simple ingredients of glutinous rice. The grown-ups were craftsmen of zongzi, while random chats and laughter never disturbed them when their fingers nimbly and skillfully bustled around and wrapped the leaves up. The wide bamboo leaves, carefully rinsed, folded into a pyramid shape, embraced the glutinous rice only seen at this time of a year. The long narrow palm leaves were twisted into tough “threads” so that it could tie the angled bamboo leaves together perfect to the point. Slowly boiled, zongzi then became somehow mouthwatering. Once a bite on the top, the fragrance of bamboo and sweetness of rice would seize the tenderness of your heart, making the lovely-shaped delicacy more unique. Therefore when it came the Duanwu Festival, a bite on zongzi turned to be a secret wanting, an impatient waiting and even an unforgettable memory of my childhood.
@一衣带水
The Dragon Boat Festival in My hometown
In my childhood, the Dragon Boat Festival always arrived imposingly in company with refreshing breeze, etching on my memory. At this time of year, Lin’s old houses would burst into bustle and hustle. Every house was bound to prepare some pork, and more importantly, grown-ups would join hands to make rice dumplings. But in this traditional festival, Zongzi was made simply with glutinous rice of a kind. Relatives from the same village gathered under one roof, chatting, laughing, and skillfully getting their artistish hands full in making rice-dumplings. Wide bamboo leaves, after carefully washed, were folded in particular shape to wrap the unusual fillings, while threads made from the long palm leaves were used to tie the angular rice-dumplings up, all of which were right for the purpose. Zongzi, being cooked in boiling water for a long while, turned out to be tempting. A bite came into mouth as its smell lies within heart, which could be thanks to the peculiar shape inside the wrapped leaves. Hence, for me, tasting Zongzi in the festival annually has become a yearning, an event to wait for and a luxury memory.