翻译擂台第15期点评
发布时间:2017年09月02日
发布人:nanyuzi  

【原文】


[1]厌倦是人生第一件罪恶,也是人生第一件苦痛。厌倦是一种想脱离活动的心理现象。换一句话说,就是不愿意劳作。[2]你想,一个人不是上帝特制出来充当消化面包的机器,可以一天不劳作吗?[3]只要稍为动一动不愿意劳作的念头,便是万恶渊薮。[4]换个方面看,无论何等人,总要靠劳作来维持自己生命,任凭你怎样地不愿意,劳作到底免不掉。

——梁启超


梁启超不但是中国近代史上杰出的思想家、政治家,而且是一位大教育家。他的九个子女各个成才,“一门三院士,父子九专家”,其秘诀是言传身教。选文是他对学生的演讲,也可看作是对后辈的教诲。


[1]中,关于“厌倦”的译词,参赛者用的是boredom、tiredness、weariness、indolence、ennui等,应当说都不算错,但经辨析:①ennui为法文,固然有“a feeling of being tired, bored and dissatisfied”之意,但不够常用;②indolence为inactivity resulting from a dislike of work,更多的是“懒惰”;③weariness是temporary loss of strength and energy resulting from hard physical or mental work,即暂时性的倦怠;④tiredness类似于weariness;⑤而boredom(bored的名词形式)为tired、impatient、have no interest in doing anything,是一种常态化的厌倦,故更为确切。

“罪恶”的译法,有的用了crime,需知该词的主要意思是an act which is against the law,即违法行为,然此处并非该意;而evil是morally objectionable behavior,更多道德色彩,同时可泛指一切恶事(见[3]);guilt本义为an unhappy feeling after having done something wrong,主要是内疚,显然不符。当然,用的最多的是sin,该词最初源于宗教,意为an action or type of behavior which is believed to break the laws of God,如original sin(原罪),但又不限于宗教,因the laws of God与natural law(自然法)相通,多指一种本性上的“恶”,如:①他们没有任何道德观念,生活中充满罪恶。(Without any moral consideration, they are now living in sin.)②He saves us from the power of sin.(他使我们摆脱了罪恶势力。)


但该句的译文很容易冗赘,如:Boredom is the first sin of life, and also the first suffering of life. / Tiredness is the guilt of the first thing all one’s life and the first pain of one's life. / Boredom is the most sinful and also the most painful thing in... ,等等。实则可以简化,避免重复,突出主旨。


“心理现象”,大都译成了psychological phenomena,如:Boredom is a psychological phenomenon that someone wants to separate himself or herself from activities.这未免过于表面化了,实则,这里讲的是一种生活态度,故不妨用mentality,意为a particular attitude and way of thinking,即主要是一种“心态”。此段中第二个“厌倦”显然有递进之意,即“实质上是……(不愿或厌恶做任何事)”,而“不愿意劳作”其实就是懒惰!同时,英语口语里说“烦了”,还可用sick of,如:I am so sick of all the noise and traffic here.(对这里的噪音和交通混乱,我真烦透了。)


故此,[1]不妨译为:Boredom, in my view, is the most painful thing, and a sin to suffer. In essence, it is the mentality of being sick of doing anything at all. In other words, it’s lazy!  


[2]中,“你想”,一般译成了just think、just imagine、think about that等,比较典型的,如:Think about that, as humans are not a machine created particularly by God to digest bread but can human not work for a day long? / Just think, a man was not supposed only to be a bread eater when God created him. Could he have a single day without working? / You see, men are not created by God to be bread-consuming machines. How could we live a day without working? 有的将此处三个分句整合为一句:“You may save yourself from hard work only if you were a God-made bread digester which, unfortunately you are not”,也是非常可取的,尽管在形式上距原文较远。其实,这里的“你想”,是启发读者意识到(这样一个事实),而“消化面包的机器”是指食而不作。故[2]不妨译为:One has to realize that man was not created by God to be a machine merely to digest food. How can one fail to work?


[3]中,“只要稍为动一动……念头”,一般采用了“...don’t have a slight error in thought / Don’t think a little bit about... / So long as you give rise to the thought... / If you somewhat occur to an idea that (you are averse to working...) / as long as you toy with idea of (unwilling to work) / As if you have an idea of not (work)”等译法,似乎都是一种思路,而“The moment the tendency of being sick of working began to erode your mind, you already fell into abyss of extreme evil”则别开生面!其实,英语里还有一种通俗表达法:not even to think of it /not to even think about that,如:You should not try to smuggle any drugs in that country, where the most severe penalty is in place; don’t even think of it!(那个国家对毒品走私有最严厉的制裁;不要试图做那种事——想都不要想!)故[3]可译为:It’s best not to even think about that, since boredom is the source of all evils.


[4]中,将“换个方面看”译成From another prospective / On the other hand / Put in another way等,似乎都可接受。“维持自己生命”,即“生存”“生活”之意,但又不宜简单地译成maintain (sustain) life / to exist through working等。有的译成Anybody needs to work to keep them alive,其中的“keep...alive”是使役句式(causative verb),即“使其活下去”,显然有误;此处应为自动词(intransitive verbs),如make a living,或to survive,其本义continue to live、endure or last,类似的还有endure、hold up、hold out等。总的讲,此句的实际意思是,任何人都别想不劳而获,可表达为:you shouldn’t expect to get something without any labor / there is no free lunch in the world / you'd better to know “no pain no gain” / there is no reaping without sowing,等等。故此,[4]不妨译为:Put in another way, whoever wishes to survive has to labor to support oneself, no matter if one is willing or not.


此段演讲,接续的还有一句话(因篇幅所限删去了),“免是免不掉,愿是不愿意,天天皱着眉哭着脸去做那不愿做的苦工,岂不是活活地把自己关在第十八层地狱?”,此处也不妨翻译如下:Fully aware of the necessity to work, should one still frown reluctantly at one’s job every day? Is that any different from sinking oneself into the bottom of hell? 仅供参考。