雅思写作题材解析及习作修改（一）
——教育类
文/唐老雅
教育类是雅思写作中出现频率最高的题材，每年都会出现10—12 次左右，超过所有题材的1/4，因此，备考雅思写作考试，必须熟悉教育类题材的命题方式和解题思路。纵观近几年雅思写作，老雅将最常出现的教育类题材归纳为如下几类：
1. 政府教育投资类，包括：（1）支付大学学费是否是政府的责任而不是个人的？（2）政府资金是否只能作为最好学生的奖学金？
2. 学习方向选择类，包括：（1）成年人学习实际技能自学较好还是从师更好？（2）音乐和体育是否对学生的职业未来没有用？（3）儿童是应该学习历史还是学习与生活更密切相关的课程？
3. 学生与老师或父母关系类，包括：（1）学生应不应该评价老师？（2）从老师那里学到的东西是否比从其他渠道要多？（3）在大学求学时，是应该在外面住还是应该和父母一起住？（4）孩子们应该听从父母和老师教导，还是应该受到更少的约束以学习如何过好成年生活？
4. 其他，包括：（1）只奖励第一名还是奖励有进步的？（2）大学是否应该给所有经济背景的学生提供教育？（3）对孩子有效学习而言，电脑网络与学校老师相比，哪个更重要？
以下是雅思教育类题材的经典考题，供烤鸭们参考。
1. Students in school or university can learn more from classes and teachers than from other sources (e.g. the Internet or TV). To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2015/9/12)
2. Some people think that language teaching should take place in small classes, while others believe that the number of students in a language class does not matter. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. (2014/12/4)
3. Government funding should only be provided for the best students as scholarships. Other funding of universities should come from student fees and private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2014/10/2)
4. A family has a great influence on children’s development, but others believe that the media is a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (2013/6/15)
5. In schools and universities, some girls tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose to study science subjects. What are the reasons? Do you think this trend should be changed?(2011/7/28)
现在，唐老雅将提供一篇教育类的学生习作，并对其进行详细修改。各位请先阅读学生习作，看看它的问题有多少也是自己的问题，然后结合唐老雅的分析以及从3.5分到7分的修改，揣摩唐老雅在思路、论点、论据、语言等方面做了哪些调整。唐老雅认为，从错误修改中学习雅思写作也许是最有效的。只要你紧跟唐老雅的步伐，期期阅读《英语世界》接下来刊登的雅思系列修改作文，你会发现，你的雅思写作水平不知不觉就提高了！比不惜重金到所谓名师那里学习的效果要好得多！不信，你可以试试。
题目
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
学生习作
All of us agree that all University students have maind can They use to think and choose a way life. The governments need to be better in the future.
The big question? How can we fuind the answer of realize interested students and the governments?
First of all. Who the some some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. There are experts. The experts could be give us the result suitable for the students and drew for Them the good choose. Also, should be the government put plan for future. For example, How many pailot, How many teatcher or tuter the country need. Moreover, In schools, help students for choose that they like of job. Futhermore, coumet all the Minstor together. (together much better)
On the other hand, I think not good idea a drew the way for students. Such as, take who finsh study in school to study subject we like Not what he like. And thes same as me. When I was students, me tuter told me “please study computer science”, and my do not like computer science. Now, I will study another subject. I have aim and I can do what I like. I agree with people. Who said only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future.
In conclusion, I would like to say that the students have maind. They with our recommend to them. They will be live one of the food lives in countries also the science and technology plays rule important in our life.
评分：3.5
习作评论及修改
本题提出了两个对立观点：有些人认为大学生都应该想学什么就学什么，另外一些人则认为只允许他们学对未来有用的科目，比如科学技术等。要求对双方观点进行讨论，然后给出自己的观点。那么，显然，本题的思路是：首先要论述“想学什么就学什么”的利弊；然后论述“只允许学科学技术”的利弊，最后给出结论。
这种题论述起来可深可浅，同学们应该根据自己的表达水平来确定。简单一些，我们可以说，兴趣是最好的老师，根据自己的兴趣来选择学什么，才能学好，未来人生才会开心，也才会对社会做出积极的贡献。学习科学技术也很重要，因为一个国家强盛与否在很大程度上依赖于科技发展水平（比如，最近中国火箭上天后，全球国家都对中国赞赏有加）。我个人的观点是：虽然科技很重要，但一个国家从来也少不了其他学科的支持，比如历史知识可以让我们避免犯过去的错误，英语可以让我们更快地学习别人的长处。因此，建议是：学校可以鼓励学生多学科技，但最好给学生自由来选择自己喜欢的学科。如果往深奥里写，我们可以将这个问题拔高，认为这两个对立观点背后其实隐含的是“市场经济”与“计划经济”的对立，同时，“想学什么就学什么”和“只允许学科技”之间还暗含了“自由精神”与“集权主义”之间的对立。不过，这样写，99.5% 的雅思考生都很难写清楚。比如，你知道“集权主义”英语怎么表达？“市场经济”的原理你用英语说得清楚吗？
我们再来细看这篇3.5 分的文章，仔细聆听作者心声（的确需要仔细聆听，因为作者的意图被笼罩在雾霾重重的语言迷雾中），我们发现作者其实是有些想法的，并非一无是处。
第一段：All of us agree that all University students have maind can They use to think and choose a way life. The governments need to be better in the future.
【评析】 Maind 应该是mind 之误。第一句意思大致为：我们都同意，大学生都有自己的想法（用）来思考并选择生活方式。第二句大致为：政府需要在未来变得更好。本段最大问题其实还不是语言，而是这两句之间的关系莫名其妙。细辨之，又发现这里好像是作者在为全篇布局：因为第二段讲的是“政府应该有谋划，所以可以规定学生应该学什么”，第三段讲的是“学生应该按照兴趣自己选择”，最后是结论。显然，在这里，作者是有想法的，估计是想说：“我们都同意大学应该有自己的想法，但是政府为了变得更好，也需要给学生提出建议。”因此，这两句之间是转折关系。如果作者能明确指示出两句之间的转折关系，并对语言作适当修改，这一段就可以过关。
【修改】 All of us agree that university students have the freedom to think and choose their way of life, yet in terms of what subjects they should study, the government should give them useful advice so that the country may become better in future.
第二段：The big question? How can we fuind the answer of realize interested students and the governments?
【评析】这里提出的问题其实是紧随第一段的，即：怎样才能找到一个答案，可同时满足学生和政府的利益呢？作者的表达能力实在有限，想到了，却说错了。
【修改】The question is: what is the best way to fulfill the target of both the students and the government?
第三段：First of all. Who the some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. There are experts. The experts could be give us the result suitable for the students and drew for Them the good choose. Also,should be the government put plan for future. For example, How many pailot, How many teacher or tuter the country need. Moreover, In schools, help students for choose that they like of job. Futhermore, coumet all the Minstor together. (together much better)
【评析】这里作者想论证政府在学生专业选择中的作用。想表达几点：（1）专家来决定学生该学什么，因此专家可给学生提出建议；（2）政府需要规划未来，因此可帮助学生选择学习什么专业；（3）最好是把专家和政府结合起来。这里突然提出专家，那么专家和政府什么关系呢？应该突出这种关系，比如experts from the government 等。另外，这段的逻辑顺序似乎应该是：政府规划未来—需要不同专业的人才—请专家根据政府规划给学生提出建议。
【修改】First of all, the government should offer useful guidance to students about their choice of subjects. As we know, the government is always the one who makes plan for the country’s future. It decides, for example, how many pilots, teachers, engineers are needed in the next few decades. So, based on the government’s blueprint, the government experts as well as the university should tell students what subjects will be most needed in future and the students studying them may have better chances of employment. This kind of advice will not only increase the students’ interest in the subjects, but also prepare the government for the future qualified workers.
第四段：On the other hand, I think not good idea a drew the way for students. Such as, take who finish study in school to study subject we like Not what he like. And the same as me. When I was students, me tuter told me “please study computer science”, and my do not like computer science. Now, I will study another subject. I have aim and I can do what I like. I agree with people. Who said only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future.
【评析】本段论述学生应该自己选择的好处。大致观点：（1）学习不喜欢的科目是痛苦的；（2）学生有自己的目标，为什么只能学未来有用的科目？原文表达凌乱，不成句。
【修改】On the other hand, I do not think it a good idea to force students to study the subjects they do not like. How painful it will be to read those books you have no interest in, or to attend those classes about which you do not care at all! Take myself as an example. When I was choosing my subject, my professor told me to study computer science, but I don’t like computer science. So instead of taking that subject, I now study history. I have my own aim to realize, so why should I have to study subjects such as science and technology?
第五段：In conclusion, I would like to say that the students have maind. They with our recommend to them. They will be live one of the food lives in countries also the science and technology plays rule important in our life.
【评析】本段为结论。要点：学生有自己的思维，我们可以建议。虽然科技很重要，但学习自己感兴趣的科目，学生未来的生活会更好。原文思路凌乱，文字错误太多。
【修改】In conclusion, I would like to say that university students should be given the free mind to choose the subjects they like to study, though the government should offer useful advice to them. While science and technology is of course important, the students will contribute more to the future of the country if they are allowed to study the things they are really interested in.